The world has held great heroes
As history books have showed
But never a name to go down to fame
Compared to that of Toad

The Queen with her ladies in waiting
Sat at the window and sewed
Who is that handsome man?
They answered, "Mr. Toad!"

The army all saluted
As they passed along the road
Was it the King or Kitchener
No, it was Mr. Toad!

Hey Mr. Toad
Come and lick our lollipop

We are all concentric mammals
And we live our lives together

Drink brake fluid
Turn into a druid
Ninety three million miles from the sun
Hydrogen to helium
Gushy gushy fluid
Gushy gushy goo
Gushy gushy fluid
Gushy gushy goo

We are all concentric mammals
And we live our lives together
Riding across the desert with my Moslem friend
All the way to about south Penn
Gushy gushy fluid
Gushy gushy goo
Gushy gushy fluid
Gushy gushy goo

Knee-high to a polar bear
Going where? We don't care
Gushy gushy fluid
Ninety three million miles from the sun
Hydrogen to helium
Gushy gushy fluid
Gushy gushy goo

I used to have a girlfriend
Now I don't
Used to spend money on her
Now I won't

In the Pasha's harem
Or in the barnyard
Getting way out there
Where there are no rules
Just me in my bedroom
Just me and my tool
Freedom! Freedom!
Freedom of masturbation

Soft romantic evening
While you buttfuck a moose
Get a big blow-job
From Mother Goose
Fuck other dudes' girlfriends
Fuck the Pope
Fuck some scum-slut
While you both shoot dope

I'm dialing in
I'm dialing in
Whoa

The breasts loom
The breasts loom

'Cause I know how to handle colored people
I handle 'em a lot with my brother Joe

It's a big cheesesteak down in Philly
Hanging with Bruno, Vino at the club

Me and Vino and Joe
We run this town
We know how to handle colored people
I handle 'em a lot
With my brother Joe

Coloreds need to stick
To their own neighborhood
Know what I'm saying?
'Cause that's the kind of
Clean Streets program I run
Down here in the big cheesesteak

Good luck trying to figure these lyrics out. I couldn't do it.

Living in California and Florida
Oh it's a giant wax museum
Go for the enormous replica
It's better than the original

Living in a theme park
Living in a theme park

Would it be possible?
Is it improbable?
Is it possible?
Are you a cannibal
If you eat french fries
Fried in liposuction grease?
French fries fried in liposuction grease?

Sucked from the inside
other people you don't know
French fries fried in liposuction grease?

Fat people
Scaled-down vacuum cleaners
Turn to french fries
Fried in liposuction grease

Slice a little hole
Stick a vacuum cleaner
Suck out that liposuction
French fries fried in liposuction grease

Do you consider yourself
Do you consider yourself a cannibal
If you eat french fries
Fried in liposuction grease?

My mother is my sister
Sis' maw is my Grandmaw
Paw is just Paw
Paw to us all

Overweight Fly-Covered Mountain-Inbred Weirdos
Overweight Fly-Covered Mountain-Inbred Weirdos

Uncle Earle puts food on our plates
He creeps out of the holler
And by *mumble mumble (unintelligible)
Uncle Earl always puts food on our plates
Tossing boulders through
The windshields on the interstate

Our outhouse been overflowed
since 1976
Every night I come home
My sister sucks my dick

Every night we sit around drinking turpentine
Every night sitting around feeling really fine

My mother is my sister
Sis' maw is my Grandmaw
Paw is just Paw
Paw to us all

I'm half a ton of incestuous blubber
Rolling over all
All I wanted was to have another Maw

Uncle Earl always puts food on our plates
Tossing boulders through
The windshields on the interstate